Been thinking about this one for a while, well how to say it exactly. This is one of those posts where I write the body first and figure out the title later.
I was told a past relationship story where the girl (storyteller) has a long term bf. Honestly, didn't really ask for the whole story, so don't blame me for details or the lack of.
One time, the bf's mom tells her son that there is a cute neighbor girl upstairs that he should meet. Guess what, the gf was there. 😅 I mean... brazen, blatant and good looking out there mom. It is very apparent that if the bf was happy then his mother would not say that in front of his gf.
She (gf) was telling me that this was passive aggressive. This is not a passive aggressive move at all. There is nothing to misinterpret. Bf's mother wanted the gf out of her son's life. No babies, no marriage, no daughter-in-law, nothing. Absolutely brutal.
This is one of those moments where you should have a SERIOUS talk with your S/O about that issue and all relationship issues and what the futures holds especially if the bf did not defend his gf at that moment. I think with very high likelihood, it should lead to the gf exiting the relationship. It has gotten so bad that your potential mother-in-law told you to beat it, shoo. There are other better girls out there for her son (good looking out). Damn son. I want to meet this mother with balls of steel she has. Droppin' the a-bomb.
Seriously, there is no salvaging that. There is no saving face. Just leave. It will be hard, but worth the quiet after the emotional earthquakes associated with breaking up. If you don't leave, then you will find it harder to get over it when the bf decides to do something else to alleviate his unhappiness. Definitely will find it harder to stick future long term relationships because clinging and trust issues. You don't know when or not to cling nor when he is being trustworthy or not. Obviously compounded with all the other issues of life. It just wouldn't work out until you've gotten past it.
In the end, the bf cheated on her. The gf still calls him by his nickname and calls the girl he cheated on with a "bitch." Wtf, this is weird for me so I laugh at the charged language. The nickname part is fuckin' creepy (I think he'd find it creepy too). Also surprised at the lack of charged language about the bf. It suggests to me that she isn't over that shit. I mean does she scream out his name at times during sex still? 😂 I'm just being a speculatory dick, a funny one. I really dunno how to process that one.
What can I do but laugh at it. I guessed from the beginning that he cheated on her before she went about the story. How did I know? My read on her is that she is the marriage and wants kids type. Be like all the other women around. I'm not wrong from what I heard. 😎 Therefore, I know she wanted stability and very high likelihood that she wouldn't jeopardize it, so the bf did. Ez.
Bf is likely done searching and the gf is still searching. Kind of sad, but I can't and don't feel sorrow for anything that
happened there. The sirens were blaring loudly. It was avoidable. Usually, I'd be like the bf is a dick for not saying anything and cheating, but this one screamed to me of attachment issue. He was unhappy, she was unhappy about having to go back out there and wanted to keep up images. I classify as fake relationship. They'd probably fight a lot and resolve very little of it, passive aggression to each other, not talking about their issues, bf probably wanted to end it, but she didn't. Only speculating here. Sounds like the perfect marriage doesn't it?
Always be ready to express what you are thinking or feeling or else bad bad bad will happen. If you hide shit upon shit, shit will fall on you. That's exactly what happened here.
Funny, but informative story.
Love is blind. Blinded by love. All excuses for one sided love.
I'm told quite a bit by the ones who marry and divorce to not get married. All while the while they still wanna get married. I have beliefs about marriage that would lead me not to do it in most cases.